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The Psychology of the
Domestic Abuser

Women's Shelter
Women's Shelters

Domestic violence is a serious human rights violation. This crime is one of the most heinous because it is one that is perpetrated against people who are considered our loved ones or family members.

Women are typically the most commonly abused group, but men are may also be abused by their partners.

For most people, it is difficult to imagine physically hurting someone they purport to love deeply, but it is this facade that helps to keep the victims bound to the ongoing abuse.

Common questions a no abusive person might have are what kind of a person abuses his or her partner? What does the abuser get out of this? Is there anything that can be done to prevent this behavior in the future? Are the damages that have already been done too hard to come back from?

There could be many reasons for their abusive behavior.

One obvious reason could be alcohol or substance abuse. As Terence McKenna famously stated, "Wife beating without alcohol is like a circus without lions". This can be updated to reflect the use of other addictive drugs like opiates, heroin, cocaine, meth, prescription pills and other mind altering substances.

Withdrawal symptoms and/or criticism of their behavior could set off a violent outrage that results in a fight or physical altercation that might not have happened if they were sober.

Low Self Esteem could be another factor. If the abuser is not feeling good about themselves, it makes it easier for them to lash out at others, especially if they feel slighted, judged or as if they are being looked down on.

Lack of human compassion could be another reason they treat others, even those who love them, so poorly. Depending on the person, they may have showed signs of aggressive behavior in their youth or have a history of being abusive to animals. If they are willing to hurt helpless animals, that says a lot about their basic character.

Sadly, children who grew up in homes that exhibited abusive behavior have a higher chance of repeating the cycle when they get older.

If you combine a number of these factors together, there is a greater chance for abuse in the home, but if the aggressor is willing to work on his or her personal demons, there is hope that a peaceful and loving future awaits them.

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Shelters for Women
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